The purpose of this blog is to record and share (eventually) the mental process I went through as I lost my faith. Since this is my
first post, I want to give a bit of my background.
I was raised in a very conservative (doctrinally as well as politically) evangelical Christian family. Mom and Dad, and my two older sisters are all committed in their faith to this day. My younger brother departed from the faith when he was... I'm not sure if it was in his late teens or early twenties, but he was young. His departure from the fold was difficult for all of us at the time. I struggled to understand, what I thought was his decision and seeming arrogance. 'He thinks he knows better than everyone in our family and church...!!' or so I thought.
It took me much longer to find my way out of faith. I struggled to hang on all through my twenties and into my thirties. I studied philosophy in college and graduated still believing all of the core tenets of Christianity I had been taught growing up. However, the intense scrutiny of my own life and beliefs in an efforts to uncover truth that comprised the core of the discipline of philosophy, was engrained into my heart and mind. I wanted true beliefs, and I was determined, to the best of my ability to discern truth from fiction.
My faith began to erode a few years ago, and the difficulties I began to perceive in maintaining my faith arose from several different angles at the same time. What began with nagging questions that seemed difficulties for my faith, grew into gaping holes. When I turned to scripture in an effort to find answers, I found that reading the Bible with open eyes, only served to exacerbate the problem. Additionally, I started to reflect on experiences I had over the first three decades of my life. There seemed to be stark differences between what the Bible teaches ought to be the result of living a life of faith, dedication, and prayer, and what I saw in my own life and the lives of those around me. I tried to find apologetic means to counter these problems, but I found that the only way I was able to deal with the philosophical problems, was to ply specious arguments that dodged or dealt with the problems on a superficial level. What's more, belief in the natural world, devoid of the supernatural, seemed a much simpler, more plausible, and in the end, more satisfying way to explain my experiences.
In this series of blogs, I hope to relate a few of, what have been to me anyhow, the most profound difficulties for which I was unable to find satisfactory answers. I ask those of you who are interested in providing feedback to me with regard to the content of my posts one courtesy. Please do send your thoughts and insights to my email. Anyone who has access to this blog has my email address.
I hope this helps to clear up some of the questions I'm sure many of you, my friends and family, have regarding this change in my life.
I was raised in a very conservative (doctrinally as well as politically) evangelical Christian family. Mom and Dad, and my two older sisters are all committed in their faith to this day. My younger brother departed from the faith when he was... I'm not sure if it was in his late teens or early twenties, but he was young. His departure from the fold was difficult for all of us at the time. I struggled to understand, what I thought was his decision and seeming arrogance. 'He thinks he knows better than everyone in our family and church...!!' or so I thought.
It took me much longer to find my way out of faith. I struggled to hang on all through my twenties and into my thirties. I studied philosophy in college and graduated still believing all of the core tenets of Christianity I had been taught growing up. However, the intense scrutiny of my own life and beliefs in an efforts to uncover truth that comprised the core of the discipline of philosophy, was engrained into my heart and mind. I wanted true beliefs, and I was determined, to the best of my ability to discern truth from fiction.
My faith began to erode a few years ago, and the difficulties I began to perceive in maintaining my faith arose from several different angles at the same time. What began with nagging questions that seemed difficulties for my faith, grew into gaping holes. When I turned to scripture in an effort to find answers, I found that reading the Bible with open eyes, only served to exacerbate the problem. Additionally, I started to reflect on experiences I had over the first three decades of my life. There seemed to be stark differences between what the Bible teaches ought to be the result of living a life of faith, dedication, and prayer, and what I saw in my own life and the lives of those around me. I tried to find apologetic means to counter these problems, but I found that the only way I was able to deal with the philosophical problems, was to ply specious arguments that dodged or dealt with the problems on a superficial level. What's more, belief in the natural world, devoid of the supernatural, seemed a much simpler, more plausible, and in the end, more satisfying way to explain my experiences.
In this series of blogs, I hope to relate a few of, what have been to me anyhow, the most profound difficulties for which I was unable to find satisfactory answers. I ask those of you who are interested in providing feedback to me with regard to the content of my posts one courtesy. Please do send your thoughts and insights to my email. Anyone who has access to this blog has my email address.
I hope this helps to clear up some of the questions I'm sure many of you, my friends and family, have regarding this change in my life.
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