I had a conversation with a friend I have known for many years (I'll refer to him as Tyler here) about a situation involving a young couple from our church and their newborn son. Their son was born with a serious lung defect. The poor little guy was taken directly from the delivery room to surgery for an operation that saved his life in the short term, but there were more surgeries that followed and, in the end, the baby succumbed to his condition in less than a month.
Tyler was also member of their church and he was a close friend of the husband and father. He told me that when he prayed for the family during this time, he prayed that God would heal the baby... BUT.... Tyler had always been somewhat doubtful of the wife's commitment to their family. My friend suspected that if the baby lived, it would likely have had a life filled with expensive medical problems that would strain the family's resources and cause financial and marital strife that might very well have sent the mother packing. With this concern in mind, Tyler told me that he did pray for healing for the baby boy, but he asked God to let the baby die if survival for the baby would mean an eventual divorce for the couple due to the wife's fickle and immature personality. Tyler believes the baby's death was an answer to his prayer.
When I consider this story, I'm left shaking my head. I don't understand Tyler's mentality at all, even from the perspective of a believer. When I was a Christian myself, I believed in an omnipotent God. Had I been concerned about the stability of the family (I knew the family and that was not a concern of mine at the time) I would have made sure to ask God for a complete and immediate healing claiming the promise in John 14:13 "You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father." Why settle for less from an omnipotent God that supposedly loves the baby and the family? This was not an instance of a selfish prayer nor would it have been a test for God. It was a perfect occasion for God to demonstrate his power and I'm confident that the family and everyone in the church would have been glad to give all the glory to him. How many people might have been influenced by seeing God do what the doctors could not?
I thought about my friend's prayer for a while and it occurred to me that Tyler likely prayed that way because he, my elder by a few decades, had lived a lifetime and witnessed inaction from God again and again. He was willing to give God an out that made sense to him because he really didn't have faith in an all-powerful God. He only had faith in a God who could partially heal the baby with the help of the doctors; a God who couldn't work in the life of the mother so as to prevent her from abandoning their family, leaving the husband to take care of a sick young child and their other children. The God of Tyler's experience was not powerful enough to provide financially to sustain the family with added medical expenses for a chronically ill child. His expectations had been informed by his life experiences.
The other thing about his prayer was that it sets up a no-fail situation for God. Whether the baby lives or baby dies, either way God has come through. Praise the lord.
I can say this for my friend. He had realistic expectations from God. I suppose one can only anticipate actual miracles for just so long before beginning to tamp down that hope and setting up no-lose scenarios for a God who obviously isn't capable of doing anything, especially if you feel you can't afford not to believe in this God for fear of eternal torture. I've dropped my expectations to zero after finally realizing I would get the same results if there was no god listening at all.
Tyler was also member of their church and he was a close friend of the husband and father. He told me that when he prayed for the family during this time, he prayed that God would heal the baby... BUT.... Tyler had always been somewhat doubtful of the wife's commitment to their family. My friend suspected that if the baby lived, it would likely have had a life filled with expensive medical problems that would strain the family's resources and cause financial and marital strife that might very well have sent the mother packing. With this concern in mind, Tyler told me that he did pray for healing for the baby boy, but he asked God to let the baby die if survival for the baby would mean an eventual divorce for the couple due to the wife's fickle and immature personality. Tyler believes the baby's death was an answer to his prayer.
When I consider this story, I'm left shaking my head. I don't understand Tyler's mentality at all, even from the perspective of a believer. When I was a Christian myself, I believed in an omnipotent God. Had I been concerned about the stability of the family (I knew the family and that was not a concern of mine at the time) I would have made sure to ask God for a complete and immediate healing claiming the promise in John 14:13 "You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father." Why settle for less from an omnipotent God that supposedly loves the baby and the family? This was not an instance of a selfish prayer nor would it have been a test for God. It was a perfect occasion for God to demonstrate his power and I'm confident that the family and everyone in the church would have been glad to give all the glory to him. How many people might have been influenced by seeing God do what the doctors could not?
I thought about my friend's prayer for a while and it occurred to me that Tyler likely prayed that way because he, my elder by a few decades, had lived a lifetime and witnessed inaction from God again and again. He was willing to give God an out that made sense to him because he really didn't have faith in an all-powerful God. He only had faith in a God who could partially heal the baby with the help of the doctors; a God who couldn't work in the life of the mother so as to prevent her from abandoning their family, leaving the husband to take care of a sick young child and their other children. The God of Tyler's experience was not powerful enough to provide financially to sustain the family with added medical expenses for a chronically ill child. His expectations had been informed by his life experiences.
The other thing about his prayer was that it sets up a no-fail situation for God. Whether the baby lives or baby dies, either way God has come through. Praise the lord.
I can say this for my friend. He had realistic expectations from God. I suppose one can only anticipate actual miracles for just so long before beginning to tamp down that hope and setting up no-lose scenarios for a God who obviously isn't capable of doing anything, especially if you feel you can't afford not to believe in this God for fear of eternal torture. I've dropped my expectations to zero after finally realizing I would get the same results if there was no god listening at all.
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